Internet? What internet?

Sorry, dear readers. Siren headquarters has been experiencing some internet-service disturbances. Seems to be smoothing out. Look for new posts very soon!

Making sense of Dr. Tiller’s death

Today I have a guest post about Dr. Tiller’s death at the hands of anti-abortion activists. The writer has asked to remain anonymous, so let’s just call her Friend:

Over the past month I have been doing some soul searching about what it means to be pro-choice in America today. The death of Dr. Tiller has shaken our community to its core and has really made me think about our movement. I am so proud to call myself pro-choice for so many reasons. I believe it is every woman’s fundamental right to make her own decisions about her body and when and whether to have children. But more than that I do not feel that it is my right or responsibility to judge or question another person on their morals or beliefs because everyone’s are different. I have a hard time grasping the fact that the radical Christian right can scream that government is not to intrude into their lives when it comes to guns, taxes, or other things that they deem as “big government,” but it is ok for these same people to demand that the government gets involved in making sure that a woman can’t get her birth control pills, or that we cannot teach comprehensive sex education in our schools, or that GLBTQ couples do not have the same rights as I do,  or that women cannot take care of their bodies in the way that works best for them.

Over the past month I have become outraged that I live in America, the greatest country in the world, and as a woman somehow my health care is not as important as a man’s. I am outraged because the freedom that I as a woman of this great country am supposed to have is contingent upon what politicians and the far Christian right deem morally appropriate for me to have. I am tired of reproductive rights being swept under the table as an issue that is too hot to handle. I am tired of letting the anti-choice extremists dictate to me what is acceptable. I am tired of sitting by while amazing people like Dr. George Tiller are killed for making the tough choices and doing what is right for our movement and for women.

So that brings me to the reason I write all of this. Dr. Tiller was shot and killed on May 31, 2009 coming out of his church in Wichita , Kansas . He was shot by an anti-choice extremist. Dr. Tiller performed the hardest and most rare type of abortion which is known as late term abortion, and now women who are the most in need of his services will have no place to go. Many times he would generously donate his services to those who could not afford them. If you have read any of the coverage from the past month on his death you may have come across the pages and pages of stories that I read telling how women who were so desperate and had no place to go turned to Dr. Tiller and his amazing staff for help. Many of these women and men spoke of heartbreaking attempts to conceive a planned child and then something went terribly wrong with the pregnancy and they had no other choice but to terminate. There were stories of Dr. Tiller’s compassion for all of his patients and how he treated every woman and family he saw with incredible respect and decency. This was not a case of “abortion on demand” as the anti-choice groups like to say, this was a case of compassionate care when it was most needed. Because of Dr. Tiller’s absence, women who would have sought out his care from all over our country will have no place to turn and once again will have their choices taken away from them. Where do the women who had appointments with Dr. Tiller the week after he was brutally murdered turn now? Where do the rural women who have no access to services turn? Where do the woman whose pregnancy goes wrong and desperately need help turn? These are all questions that women in this country will be faced with. And they will be faced with these questions because a man who was anti-choice wanted to force his morals and beliefs on others.

So now I ask you the same question I asked myself while thinking about all of this, how am I going to take Dr. Tiller’s death and do something positive about it? How am I going to make a difference in a movement I care so deeply about? Here is what I came up with…I am going to get involved. I am going to join women’s rights groups like NOW and Planned Parenthood and make sure that my voice is heard and that I do not just think about these feelings – that I take action about these feelings because sitting by and letting things happen is just not acceptable anymore.

That. Just. Happened.

I don’t even know what to say but I can thank The Gleaner for alerting me to this bat-shit crazy — and quite REAL — vlog created and posted on the internet by one Thomas Mitchell, editor of the Las Vegas Review Journal. (Many years ago, during an interview for a job at Stephens Media Group — which owns the RJ — this man actually lectured me on the soft, lazy ways of young journalists today while waving his arm toward his own newsroom.) So all I can say is: WTF?!

In fact, he’s got his own youtube channel.

What do you think?

So, how do you like the changes happening at The Siren? New layout, new features …

Have you checked out the Twitter news feed? It’s kind of like my news round-ups, but in real time and with (mostly) less snark (you only get 140 characters, after all).

What about the new merchandise? (PS: Any graphic artists out there willing to collaborate?)

There will be more to come in the future, but not as many major changes for a while. I’m exhausted!

And just because I’m feeling cheeky, enjoy this feminist blogger shout-out:

A chill round-up in 100+ degree heat

It’s too (suddenly) hot to think deep thoughts, so here’s a round-up of what has caught my eye:

• New push for expedited solar power plants in NV announced today. This makes me happy.
• I could write another post on disgraced Republican Senator John Ensign, but it seems more efficient to let the Gleaner do it.
• Again, I could write about the nexus of hypocrisy from Ensign and fellow disgraced Republican, Governor Mark Sanford, but Tracy’s got it covered.
• The 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots. It’s today, people.
• This whole parenthood/babies obsession is not healthy and not natural.
• It’s official: The AMA has endorsed comprehensive sex education (of which abstinence is only a part), as the best model to teach kids how to be disease-free and avoid unwanted pregnancies.
• More misogynistic ad fun: blow job edition.
• Speaking of fast-food and inappropriateness … how did I miss Missouri’s governor telling poor, hungry families to just go to McDonalds? (And props, again, to Tracy for breaking it down.)

The hardest truth: Why I’m conflicted about grieving Michael Jackson’s death

For the past couple days — during the marathon Michael Jackson coverage and all-MJ music and video tribute sessions — I’ve been caught with my feet in two different worlds. How is it possible that the sudden death of a pop culture icon has split me in two? I could have never guessed it. Let me explain.

Just like most of the world, I have my share of fond Michael memories. I had Michael Jackson folders for my school work in grade school and memorized the Thriller dance. In fact, me and a friend would go out in the front yard and play the song over and over on her boombox, meticulously acting out the Thriller dance. (I’m sure the neighborhood just loved it. Who wouldn’t want to hear Thriller 40 times in a row?) I loved MJ. And like so many, I believe he was a significant artist in modern popular culture, not just music. He changed the medium of music videos. He crossed invisible race lines of popularity. He was an innovator both in music and in performance. (Although I completely disagree with Ryan Seacrest, who said MJ’s impact was even bigger than Elvis Presley. Uh, no.) So there is definitely a part of me that can’t shake loving those early years, when MJ collaborated so brilliantly with Quincy Jones.

But there is another part of me that is struggling with the commemoration and the singularly focused adoration that conveniently leaves out (or frames as just a footnote) the second half of Michael Jackson’s life. I speak, of course, about Jackson’s alleged molestation of children (in the 2005 case he was indicted). Like so many fans, I was heart-broken when the news broke of those allegations. Can I still enjoy music made by a man who does such detestable things? After Jackson was acquitted or settled, depending on the case, there is a permanent stain and unshakable mark of infamy.

Certainly, I’m not the first person to wrestle with this. But what most of my dear Siren readers probably don’t know is that I am a survivor of sexual abuse. I was molested as a child. (And, yes, I talk about it in my book.) And for those like me, I suspect, it becomes more than just a little trouble of mind to forget those allegations.

Did Michael Jackson touch those children? I think there will never be a way to know definitely. And, unfortunately, this raises the classic problem for survivors and the accused alike. We only have one justice system and it isn’t perfect.

In fact, I think its flaws become particularly obvious when we look at crimes like sexual abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault (rape). It’s an adversarial system and it’s incumbent upon the victim to prove the truth of their accusations. I believe in “innocent until proven guilty.” But, man is that a hard system when it comes to the intimate crimes of sex and violence. Like so many survivors, it’s not possible for me to provide you with something as tangible as photographic evidence or even a torn pair of panties.

But I’m not without compassion. The system sucks for those accused, too. We’ve all heard the stories of someone wrongly accused who is tainted for the rest of their life by the accusation. And while I think true instances of that are rare, I don’t discount that it could happen. And we just have to look at Michael Jackson to see that an accusation leaves a long shadow, now matter how much we try to ignore it.

In a perfect world, we would never have to worry about such things. There’d be no survivors, like me. There’s be no perps. And if there ever were, we’d have an infallible system unprejudiced by race, wealth, fame, social standing, gender, sexual preference or anything else.

As I avoid the fawning coverage, I wonder how many other survivors there are out there like me. I want to believe in our justice system, but I can’t shake the suspicion. What if rather than justice, injustice was served with Jackson’s cases? What if he got away with something, like so many perpetrators do? There are so many of us who never went to authorities or pursued legal recourse because we felt it would be impossible and would just be a way to be re-victimized all over again — in public. If he did get away with such an act, it makes me sick.

For now, I still have Thriller on my iPod. I can’t help that I like the song. Just like I still like some James Brown, even though we now know he was a perpetrator of domestic violence. And one thing I have had to deal with and accept in the course of my own healing and survival is that even the kind of people who can perpetrate such horrible acts can still somehow offer glimpses of redemption. The man who molested me was one of the first to truly encourage me to be a writer. How do you like that? It’s kind of a bitch to admit. And it’s not that I want to let that person off the hook, any more than anyone guilty of such acts, but it’s just the truth.

What I have had to learn and accept is that no person is 100 percent evil or 100 percent good, ever. Monsters can bring you flowers. Angels can smite you.

So I think I’ll keep out of the Michael Jackson grief and adoration circles. I’m going to keep moving forward with my eyes open. I don’t think you can ever reconcile the many sides of someone like Michael Jackson. Maybe acknowledging that is the best we can do.

And to any of my readers who might be in a place of terror or fear right now, I want to tell you that you deserve to live a life free of that. You deserve happiness, love and kindness and to never live in fear. There’s hope. Truly, there is. There’s a way out, even if it means more (temporary) pain. You are stronger than you know. You are more amazing than you know. I know about the dark place you live in. I know about the fear and anger. But there is a world outside the darkness. And you can get there. I believe in you. I know you can do it.

Here’s some information that may help:

• Safe Nest, a local domestic violence shelter, can offer you referrals to services they don’t offer.
• The Rape Crisis Center offers some good  services, too.
• There’s a 24/7, national hotline available at RAINN.

And now for the poll:

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Weekly Poll: National HIV Testing Day edition

HIV Awareness Day

Today, we have guest contributor Annette Magnus, from Planned Parenthood of Southern Nevada:

Saturday is National HIV Testing Day and Planned Parenthood encourages you to take the first and most important step and get yourself tested.

Here are some facts to make sure you are informed about HIV (human immunodeficiency virus). HIV is transmitted in blood, semen, vaginal fluids or breast milk.  Exposure to any of these fluids can put you at risk for HIV, which is most commonly spread through sexual intercourse (anal, vaginal, or oral), syringe or needle sharing, blood or blood products (rare in the United States) or being exposed to HIV before or during birth or through breast feeding.  HIV is the virus that causes AIDS.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 million people in the United States are infected with HIV and of those 1 million people, one out of five do not know they are infected.  For this reason, testing for HIV is crucial.  The CDC reports that in Nevada through 2007, 3,855 cumulative HIV cases were reported and 6,124 cumulative HIV/AIDS cases reported.

Getting tested for HIV is a normal part of health care and it is also really simple! The CDC recommends that everyone know their HIV status.  Tests are available from Planned Parenthood health centers and most physicians, hospitals and health clinics.  Local, state and federal health departments often offer free testing. Planned Parenthood of Southern Nevada has three local health centers that offer rapid HIV testing. To find the Las Vegas health center nearest you or to learn more about HIV and AIDS, visit pprm.org or call 1-800-230-PLAN.

So please, in honor of National HIV Testing Day, get yourself tested and take a friend to do the same because knowing your status is important and it is a great way to respect yourself and the people who are the most important to you.

The Siren on Twitter

Would you like to follow The Sin City Siren on Twitter? You can!

It’s part of my slow progression toward updating The Siren and offering new features on the blog. (Hey, I’m basically a one-woman show here.)

More to come!